Stuff from other blogs (year 2007)

Ok this post will be a long one cos I am attaching all I have in Myspace BLOG to this one... so get those snags and a cup of tea ready before you tackle this one.


09 Aug 2007
LAST DAY AT WORK Current mood: excited
Omg, I am so excited... I never have to come here again!!!! GOOD BYE SUCKERS!!!
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07 Aug 2007
Countdown has started!!! Current mood: rushed
All riggggght… It's the last 3 days at Candywall for me (Candywall being my work). I don't know what to do with myself after Thursday – I have a week holiday in London before I fly to Finland. How should I use it

Well part of it will go to getting rid of my stuff and packing, but 7 days… I must do something because I might never live in London again.
I think one day I will wake up at 5 am and take a tube to Ealing Broadway – walk up the road where I used to live when I moved here… take pictures of everything and go eat at a steak sandwich at my favorite café. Then take a bus to Kingston, where I worked and made my first friends. Go buy a cheap shirt from Primark and go feed ducks near the river – and take pictures of everything.
Then I will take a bus number 57 to Wimbledon – ask my friend to come have a drink with me in the Prince of Wales, a place where we always used to go after work on Thursdays. If I still had time after that I would pop to the Sainsbury's where I used to go when I lived in South Wimbledon, buy ordinary groceries and take a bus 44 to my flat, the same bus I used to take always to work from there. I want to remember the everyday stuff I used to do here, not just the highlights.
In a way I feel kind of sad to leave London. It has been my home for nearly two years and I have grown fond of it. I know that where ever I go now I will hate the fact that there is not enough options and getting to places is too difficult compared to London. I know you probably just chuckled in your head "easy to get around, IN LONDON??" Well, in my opinion it is…
You have a great journey planner that tells you even how long it takes for you to walk from A to B and when you wait for a bus/tube/train you know that there will be one in the next 10 minutes – sometimes you might have to wait for longer but it will come eventually.
In my home town if you miss a bus you will have to wait for an hour for a next one or if you are going to for example where my mother lives you might not even have another bus coming after that, you have to wait until the next day. There are some really stupid things here as well that I will not miss (like how difficult some things have been made because of the terrorists or how a cup of coffee costs £2.50 [that's about $5]) and one thing that I will certainly not miss at all is the POLLUTION. I can't wait to get to my mum's place, wake up in the morning, step outside of the door and smell the grass that has been recently cut. Or the "clean" smoke that is coming from the chimney of the sauna we have in our garden OR flowers and the sand (yes sand has a particular smell to it). I wish one day I have tamed myself down a bit so I would be able to live in a place like that. Right now it is just a nice place to visit for a day or a week.
But anyway, I am still in London for a bit so lets concentrate on the good stuff. For now I gotta get back to work – have to at least look like I am working.
Adios!

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27 Jul 2007
the things I did - part1 Current mood: silly
Someone once asked me why I have never written down anything about my travels… and since now I have never thought about it. I have kept a diary all my life but I have never written about things that I have actually done, but rather the feelings and thoughts that were going through my mind at the time.
So far I could have written about the trips my mother me and my sister had when I was a kid. We went to several, now classified as cheesy, tourist resorts around Europe which made my view of the world very twisted. And here again I almost started to elaborate on how it made me look at the world, but lets keep that in the diary, shall we… If I ever publish my biography it will be this, which will be called: "The things I did" and then there will be another book called "The thoughts I thought" which will ultimately be my diary – would double the money as well, because naturally it would be a bestseller.
Ok… so what else have I done in my life worth writing? Well… I could tell about the trip to Stockholm where I left a note written with my lipstick saying "I am sorry I can't stay" (… I was meeting a guy I had met a year before and felt very uncomfortable meeting him again because I was shallow kid who didn't understand anything about world at that time).
Or I could write a book only about the time when I flew to Australia and managed to live there for 6 months with no money at all. Funny thing is that I have pushed that time from my mind a bit; I can't remember much of what I did there… It wasn't the brightest 6 months of my life and quite far away from holiday. I remember being really anxious and scared most of the time. I was lost and found comfort from a person who actually listened to me and helped me through the darkness - And yes, more about that will be in my diary.
After Australia I had my Finland period for a long time. No trips except a few holidays to Spain and one funky drinking holiday to Cyprus, but these were just holidays, not really experiences in such. I know that probably sounds really arrogant since some people never leave the country but we all live our lives differently and make our own sacrifices – I don't have a degree, real friends nor family of my own but I have woken up in a Greek family gathering, climbed Chichén Itzá, seen a stone fish 1 meter away, ask directions in Spanish (which I don't speak), faked train tickets and used insurance card as an ID to leave a country… My point is… lol… MY POINT IS…. Stop writing about nonsense you silly girl… back to the point, which is the TRIPS!!!

So, the next big thing in my life must have been the time when I found a job add that wanted people to go work in Greece in a hotel as an entertainer. Crazy times and lots of emotions. Imagine being thrown in to a huge hotel with lots of tourists pouring in everyday and you are alone responsible of them having a good time and coming up with things for people who decide to stay in the hotel to do. In theory that sounds like fun… but standing in front of a group of people staring at you because you are trying to sound funny is quite far away from fun. Or playing volley ball in the pool for the 50th time that week, or getting beaten up by arrogant 8 year old brat and their mother laughing how cute their little Bryan is OR getting drunk every single night with the guests because you weren't allowed to say no if a customer wanted to buy a drink.

I quit working for the company after a while and ended up on the street for a day in a completely strange country – luck was on my side again when I was in a middle of a huge chaos. Managed to find me a new job and a flat and the rest of the time in Greece was somewhat interesting rather than insane.

After Greece I had a face of traveling to Europe a bit, UK, Holland, Belgium. Then I had my crazy eastern Europe month with a guy who threatened to kill me on several occasions. Visited some impressive places like Auschwitz and Tatra mountains – I am still planning to go back there… one day.

So finally about 2 years ago I traveled to Mexico where I was for 2 months. Mexico was very pretty but I was going through something in my life that I can't quite identify so the experience wasn't the best but I have to say that the most beautiful things I have ever seen I found from there… A year later from that I moved to London, where I am still stuck. Before that I had a little 2 month excursion to Spain and Portugal with a friend of mine which probably was the most fun I have ever had… But yeah, like I said… I am still in London, but in 3 weeks I will leave. I will go to Finland and then I will fly to USA…… but like I said the emotional part will follow after I have made these stories into a book.

And yes, I did write this down juts as a reminder that I have to do this one day.
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25 Jul 2007
IDEA!!! Current mood: busy
Hey wouldn't it be cool if you could have all the stuff you own stored on a computer file. Like all the unnecessary paper that is in the world. Why can't banks send/accept cheques on an electronic form, or shops have gift vouchers that you could just print off when you need it or send the discount code to your phone or something. (This idea is inspired by the mountain of paper I went through last night in my room and still I didn't find the discount thingy for the United Airlines). I am sure there are ways to prevent people from misusing it but it seems that everything needs to be always done by writing… like changing a phone number to the details of the operators at work, what utter BS

And this thought made me think… wouldn't it be cool if you could have EVERYTHING you own stored on a computer file and when you needed something you could just materialize it. Like in the end of the day you de-materialize the clothes you wore for the day and in the morning just get new, clean clothes with a press of a button. Or you could do grocery shopping online and when you start cooking you could just materialize the stuff from the computer. With the gene experiments they have done so far I don't see this being completely crazy idea, I am actually quite sure that one day that is possible.
But just imagine how this invention would help the world. I won't even go into to the recycling possibilities or instant messaging (meaning sending something solid to someone on the other side of the world) but just THINK about how that would make a difference in my room? Now it is packed with stuff that I probably didn't even remember having – I could just do "format room:" and it would be empty!!
I actually remember reading somewhere that scientists have already managed to teleport a beam of light from one place to another so who knows maybe one day we have a major storage station in Mars and we can just teleport all the stuff mentioned above from there. CRAZY WORLD! Now I want to cryopreserve myself and see if this ever happens… SOMEONE FREEZE ME!!!!
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13 Jul 2007
I need a change... Current mood: contemplative
Haven't been writing here for a while again.
Been a bit boring to be honest... The summer has really sucked in UK this year - it has suprise suprise been raining like solid 2 months now - We have had a few sunny days but that's usually when I am at work and when I go on my lunch break there is a little thunderstorm (typical).
I am seriously getting tired of London. I hate my roommates with a passion - I know this is going to sound really racist but I never want to live with German people again - they are pain in the ass.
I have been trying to find me a job from USA... I already have gotten a few responses, but nothing has been confirmed yet. Todays question for me has been wether I should just quit my current job NOW or wait for few weeks... I say I should quit it now but my other side of the brain is chickening out. HELP!
Oh and btw, i saw the new Harry Potter movie yesterday - it was AWESOME!
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24 May 2007
this is actually an email to a friend of mine... :P Current mood: lazy
Hi
How's your week been?
I went for few drinks last night with Dan from work and maaaaaan, I am so tired now. I don't get it, I went to bed the same time as usual but I guess the alcopop takes the energy away so fast. AND I haven't been eating much lately, I really gotta start watching my eating… seriously I haven't made dinner for like 2 weeks… just been eating carrots and a sandwich occasionally and those salads – but I am so determined to get rid of the weight I have put on since I moved to UK. I want my life back and 1st time for a LONG time I actually feel that I am living my life again.
I cycled to work yesterday and I was actually surprised how quick it was… Even though I stopped to look at the map every once in a while and was going majorly slow, I was at work on time and it took me only like 25 mins. I am sure that when I start doing it every day it will take me like 15 mins tops. It just takes FOREVER to take the bike out of the building…
And oh man, I almost crashed to a car as well… The steering wheel (or whatever you call it on a bike) got loose (!!!!!!!!!) and it was basically pointing to a completely different direction from the wheel for a minute… That was very interesting because I was cycling on a busy road at that point. I gotta find some tool to fix it, because it keeps going loose all the time if my wheel hits a side of the pavement or something… you know, one day I am sure it will just come off and I will have a BIG accident – lucky I have the insurance now. And when I was cycling to Clapham Junction in the evening some dick opened their car window and yelled at me "what the f##k are you doing?" … Mind you I was just cycling in front of them like cyclists do if there is no cycle path, I answered with some sign language.
But besides that I haven't really done much since we last saw and I showed you my magnificent poi skills. I was supposed to get some drinks with Miia today but I just realized that I have only £40 on my account for the rest of the month so I think I will give it a miss because I AM GOING TO A MISSION on the weekend (to Cardiff that is).
Can you believe … I think we will go CAMPING!!! Me in a tent… ugh.
But anyway, I gotta go now, Have to at least pretend to be working.
Happy Thursday!!! And guess what… TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!
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15 May 2007
To go out in London (Do you need to be a millionaire?) Current mood: full
First of all, I don't go out much because I am constantly trying to save money so I can escape this city of stress and secondly… HAVE YOU SEEN THE AMOUNT OF CALORIES ONLY 1 COCKTAIL HAS!!!??? Honestly 4 cocktails and your calories intake for the day is up.
But lets see how much I can easily spend on a night out in London.
To get nice clothes in London is luckily quite cheap. If you take a bus out of zone 1 you can find lots of little shops selling clothes that look nice and even last you more than a week. Then there are places like Primark and H&M that sell nice looking clothes pretty cheap but they don't last that long, I tend to avoid these places, but sometimes you just can't avoid that "T-SHIRTS £1.50" sign… But anyway, you can get a really nice outfit for the night for like £50 from e.g. TKmaxx (which is my favourite shop in the world). Girls pay attention TKmaxx sells clothes from FCUK, Calvin Klein, Billabong, Morgan…etc etc half the price (or even cheaper) and they are the real thing, not some cheap copies. Who knows why, but I love it!!! So yeah… £50 for some nice clothes… maybe extra £10 for some bling bling to make it look nice, £30 for some high heals… Ok, so far I have spent £90 – I probably found a nice set of underwear as well so lets make it £100.
Now at this point you think "why do you have to buy new clothes to go out?" well let me tell you… In London you don't wear the same clothes to go out you wore last weekend, you just don't – end of story.
I won't mention all the money I have spent on make up, hair extensions, manicure because these are things you pay for anyway…
So yeah, you are home and it's 9pm and ready to go out… now wait a minute… IN UK YOU ARE NOT HOME AT 9PM because most places already close at 11pm. So yeah… it's 6pm and you are home ready to go out. If you are lucky to live in the zone 1 (yeah right) you can just walk to the coolest pubs in your neighborhood but if you are not you will probably end up taking a tube or a bus (Add travelcard £6).
So you meet up with your friends in a pub on zone 1 which is known for ridiculously expensive drinks… now why did we have to go all the way there to be robbed off our money and get pushed around by the hordes of tourists? Who knows, but it's not really going out in London if you go out somewhere in the outskirts where instead of groovy music videos you see arsenal play against west ham (football [or soccer you ignorant Americans] that is) on the TV.
So a glass of wine – "5 pounds thank you". At this point I always walk to the table and realize that it would have been actually cheaper to buy a bottle instead of a glass, but too late now – so next round: a bottle of wine £15.
When the bottle is empty I usually decide to go home cos I either feel tired or sick or both, but lets say that today was the day that I wasn't feeling either and that friend I haven't seen for AGES just convinced me to continue the night. So we decide to go to another bar for one more drink but this time we go for pink margaritas and 2 shots of something green for both of us and because this is the time of the night when I am feeling the love of the world and I just happened to get me a new flashy credit card THE ROUND IS ON ME… so that's about £20.
"What you mean we are not on the guest list? Don't you know who I am?" ….
So yeah, next thing on our "to do list" is to queue to a nightclub. I am never on VIP list, why? Well beats me, I am a hidden star I guess.
And wow…. There is a special event tonight and the entry fee is only £25 …aren't we lucky. So we managed to get in to the club where my friends comb is confiscated at the security check because she could, according to the big black man in a black suit, stab someone with it (hey at least to me it sounds a bit odd…)
The club is quite full but there are quite a few empty tables and seats, a place to my liking – I can dance and sit down whenever I want to – why can't they always be like this?
At this point I am feeling already so drunk that I don't want more alcohol for a while, a bottle of water will do… WHAT!!!!! £3.50 for a bottle of water??? well f#ck me…
We dance the night away with my girlfriend and sooner or later it's time to visit the ladies room. Luckily this time the queue for the bowl of relief is not that bad… only like 5 girls in front of us. We squeeze to the toilet at the same time with my friend to save time and in no time we are fixing our make up in front of the mirrors. "Here's a towel miss" I hear a depressed voice say behind me as I am washing my hands. These women literally spend their nights in the toilets of nightclubs giving towels to women who wash their hands. There is a wide variety of perfumes, hairsprays, makeup ….etc. for you to use free of charge – only thing then is that you are obliged to give her a tip and I always end up doing so because I feel sorry for these girls… (I know I shouldn't they probably make a fortune there, but I can't help it) so yeah, I empty my wallet of coins to her – must be like £2-3. So now we are refreshed and back on the dance floor… my new shoes have started to have a life of their own and I really feel like sitting down, but hey I remember seeing those empty seats when we came into the club – and yes they are still free!!!! We sit down with my friend and as we are starting to get comfortable a Britney Spears look-alike comes to us and tells to move because it is her seat. Naturally I start to argue back saying that there was no one there and we were there first. Well, little did I know that you can actually RENT the seats in a nightclub for you to use because this Miss I have it all goes and gets the security guard who comes to tell us to move from their seats. Apparently to rent a seat for 2 for the night starts from £600…
After realizing that I had forgotten my unopened bottle of water in to the toilet I am quite ready to leave this over packed meat market. The last tube home left like 15 minutes ago so night bus it is…
90% chance is that I ended up taking the wrong bus because I thought it was quicker and had to take a taxi from there, extra £20 for my night's budget and I probably went to that 24h McDonald's…add £4.
So let's see how much I spent to be able to spend the following day in bed feeling sorry for myself. That's roughly £200 and that is me NOT spending that much. I could easily keep buying drinks in the club as well or go eat before clubbing.
Call me an old fart but I really don't want to go out in London EVER unless it is a gig or just a quiet few drinks in a local pub. Honestly those trendy clubs make me physically ill and I don't understand why you would torture yourself by going in one. Getting completely smashed (that's' if you want to get smashed) in a park with a group of friends and a portable CD player with pc speakers bring me so much more joy than a dance floor packed with sweaty strangers – I probably would end up spending like £180 less on it as well.
So yeah… THIS is why I don't go out anymore.
SHUT UP you 18 years olds, I don't care what you have to say – let me quietly grow old…
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10 May 2007
wtf - another post??!! Current mood: creative
I know, world has gone crazy – I think I have never been updating my blog so regularly.
But you know, when I was a teenager I was writing to my diary nearly every day. I was such an angry girl 10 years ago. I wrote heart breaking poems, painted psychedelic paintings, wore black clothes to match my hair and make up and in every way was sure that I was alone in the world and no one cared about me. I will try to find a picture of me from that time, but I don't think it will be easy because I didn't want people to take pictures of me.
But anyway, the entries I have made to my diaries are hard to read now, there are many pages dedicated to my dad who I wanted to die in the most horrible ways (and by the way, my dad wasn't that bad – it is a long story which I might share someday) and there are sad stories of me trying to fit in to the world, find someone to love me, someone to care… and I have been so lost with no one telling me how to do things and what was right and what was wrong.
I have a great mother, she has given me life, taught me how to tie my shoelaces, how to make lasagna, how to build a snowman and she is always there if I need to ask a recipe for crepes, if I need to know what clue to use to fix a broken coffee cup or if I need a place to stay in Finland for my holiday – but she must have been as lost as I was when I hit my teenage years because she never told me anything about stuff that really mattered. I have never told my mother I love her nor have I ever heard it from her. Feelings are a subject in my family that you don't talk about. If you are sad you go to your room and get over it, if you are happy you don't laugh too loud because you might upset someone.
So yeah, without going to too much details I had to navigate through having my very first periods to losing my virginity all by myself and it wasn't very pretty. I am one of those girls that you hear stories of who goes to the school nurse to ask if she is having a baby because she kissed a guy.
My first few relationships with guys weren't that great either. My first real boyfriend was a guy who ended up in prison later on (lucky I had already broken up with him at that point) but already when I was with him he was a real weirdo. He once beat up some of my friends and sometimes hit me as well… I remember calling my mother once when that had happened and my mother's response was "well, you probably deserved it…"
Since I moved to live on my own my life has started to make a lot more sense. I did have my crazy single life party party period but I soon realized that sleeping around with guys didn't mean that they loved me and one night stands just made me feel lonelier than I was before. I was still looking for something to fill an empty space in me and that surely wasn't the thing I was missing. I was cursed with being pretty which made it so easy for me to get a date to every day of the week and if you have too much of a good thing it no longer means anything to you. So there I was living my boring life in a boring little town when I found at least a little part of me that I was always missing. I was sick of my daily routines, the guys I hung out with, my family, my friends, everything, so I decided to leave and since then I have traveled basically around the world by myself and I have loved every second of it.
I think I am still a bit lost with my life… and not just a bit, a lot. I am in a stage where I should decide what I want to do for the rest of my life, or at least this is what the whole world around me is screaming at me, but to be completely honest, I don't think I am ready for that yet – I don't think I ever will be and it makes me a bit sad. I feel that I am screwing up my life as it happens and there is nothing I can do to help it… Twice now I have met the love of my life, my true soul mate, the person I know is the right one for me, and both times I have ended up breaking up with them because I am incapable of sharing my whole life with them. When I am put to that situation I panic and go to my shell which so far is impossible to break. To be left by someone who you truly love hurts a lot but to leave someone you love more that life hurts probably even more… uhm… ok, that's a bit deep now, I'd better stop it right there :P
ANYWAY… today's question… do we actually learn anything from our mistakes or do we just keep repeating them without realizing it?
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08 May 2007
No, no it's not all I do... Current mood: cranky
Ok, just to make it clear I actually do other things as well than just play online games, hehehe – what I meant is that it is a filler of the time when I don't do anything else. I could go on about my hair extensions that took hours to put on (they look soooo nice) or the Eurovision song contest that is broadcasted from Finland or about my breakfast yesterday when me and my friend were trying to have a picnic in a park but we got soaked because it suddenly started to rain. I think the time I log on to the game is when other people sit on their couch and watch TV… see, I don't do that at all. I did install me a satellite box to my new flat (yeah I moved on the weekend) and I only found some Muslim channels where there was a man dressed in a toga chanting something that sounded like a cow lost in the woods – I watched it like 5 minutes and turned the damn thing off, TV is such a waste of time.
Oh and I found this tiny jewelry shop last week that has everything on 50% sale, I am so excited about it – I already bought me some stuff and I think I will get me something else from there this week too. It's funny how only a year ago I said that I never wear jewelry and now I am crazy about anything that shines.
And when it comes to pubs, I don't really do them that much anymore – I do occasionally go out to see my friends for few drinks and like I said in my previous blog, I have had a great time, but I need to put everything on a scale really. Do I really want to spend one of my days off laying on my bed feeling sick because I was drinking the previous night, or do I want to get up in the morning, make me a cup of tea and start a day off feeling great and have a possibility to do whatever my heart desires? Call me old but I rather choose the 2nd option. When I have more days off…. Well… that's another story then.
But… I do have to say that I think I should put more of an effort into doing random things. I sometimes find myself stuck on my own routines. When I was living in Greece I had no entertainment in my flat what so ever. After I finished work I had to come up with things to do because otherwise I would have become a complete alcoholic (was working in a tourist resort). So I went walking on the hills to pick up flowers, I went to play cards with Apostolis (60+ Greek man) and Jeroen (35+ Dutch guy), I swam a lot, I went to movies alone…etc. and now… weekdays are all the same, I don't seem to have time for anything anymore. Well, I do blame crazy UK working hours though… 9h a day… what the f##k!!? I used to work 6.5h a day when I was living in Finland, I was a bit poorer but I think the quality of my life was so much better… I gotta get out of London. …And now that I think about it, I think I wasn't even that much poorer, London is just ridiculously expensive as well.
So… where should I move next, any suggestions?
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04 May 2007
Do you know what MMORPG means? Current mood: drained
Well, I just got an inspiration to write something here because it has been nearly 6 months since I have said anything in my blog….. I am actually drowning in work but I really can't be asked to do anything because it is Friday and well… ok…there really is no reason for that, I am just lazy.
I have been over loaded with work today so I decided not to do it… hehe.
Anyway, Life hasn't been very interesting since the last entry. I went to .. Finland for 2 weeks and yeah since then I have been clued to my laptop playing Final Fantasy XI… I know, all you un-nerdy friends that I have out there are thinking that I have lost it but there is something about online games (MMORPG in the geek (geek = me) language) that intrigues me.
When I bought the game in October I never thought that I would get so addicted to it and at first I was playing the game only few hours every other day. I found it relaxing to turn on the game after a day at work and just chat with other imaginary characters there who were leveling up their jobs or making some money so they could buy that new cool armor. Then I started staying on the game a bit longer because I wanted that one more level before I went to bed. Soon I noticed that I was up at 2 am on a work night slashing up some goblins so I could get that extra 100 experience points that I needed so I could FINALLY learn trick attack for my character. I started to use words like noob, afk, brt, omw, atm, cba…and so on in my everyday emails to my friends who replied "what you mean you are calling him atm?"
My Christmas holiday was a good break for me from the game, I had to be 2 weeks without turning on the game and I had to actually go out and talk to real people. I have to say, it was hard at first. I kept telling my friends that I started to level up my white mage in this game I bought a few months ago and to be frank no one really cared – and I can't blame them either, it doesn't mean much to a person who has never even heard of Final Fantasy.
After my rehab in Finland I got back to my flat and turned on my laptop again and BOOM I was back in the game, people in my linkshell (sort of a private chatroom for group of people) welcomed me back and I felt like I was home again.
So what is it that I like so much about this game? What brings me home to play the game instead of going out with my friends and have drinks in a pub? At first it was money. It cost me roughly £10 a month to play this game and believe me for that money you get all the entertainment you might want. You get to talk with strangers without having to be think that you are making a fool of yourself, you can kill monsters, you can gain new abilities, you can travel the world… you can make your character do anything – even fall in love and get married. So for the first few months I was telling myself that I play the game so much because I need to save money for my trip… and I did manage to save quite a bit (which I have already spent but that is another story…). But I think the real reason why I play the game so much (yes play, I still sit spend all my free time exploring the wonderful world of Vana'diel) is because it really is an escape from the real world. I have made really good friends there and it is so EASY. I don't have to go sit in a bus to go do something exciting with a friend of mine, I can just teleport myself to the other side of the world and start hacking things up.
Being a girl in a nerd world is like being a sexy super model in a boy's night out
You would be surprised how much you get attention only by being a girl playing games like this. At first I found it really flattering but after a while it turned against me and lots of people started to think that I was just using guys to gain stuff in the game. And I have to admit, I guess that is the obvious thing to think if you see a girl that all the guys want to help out and bring the moon from the sky. BUT for my defense I have to say that I never asked for that kind of attention and I didn't know how to take it, I didn't want to be rude when someone said that they wanted to help me get this and that.
I started chatting with a French guy who was obsessed with helping me get everything I wanted, I thought that it was very nice of him and was just doing the things that he advised me to do because I was very new to the game at that time and obviously didn't have a clue what to do in the first place. He used to wait at the spot where I had logged off the previous day, which was kind of freaky… He joined my linkshell (which he left later because someone disrespected him apparently). Then he started telling me that he wanted to marry my character… I told him that I don't really think much of online relationships and I think that kind of pissed him off. We still hung out together but he started to be busy and soon he decided to change the server he was on.
Around the same time I met this American guy who was on the game 24/7 because he had no other life (his words, not mine). He told me everything about his life and how depressed he was. His life really sounded like a nightmare and I don't really want to go to details with it but I truly felt sorry for the guy. I tried to cheer him up as much as I could but he kept falling deeper and deeper. It wasn't very easy because he was usually on a really bad mood and absolutely went mental if someone told him that he was wrong or not the best of the best. He started to sound a bit scary at one point because he kept telling me that I was the only good thing about his life. He started to get mad at me for not spending every minute of the time I was on the game with him. Then something happened and he disappeared from the game for a month or so. Apparently his internet connection had been cancelled because of the unpaid bills, so that was my escape from him. I know it sounds quite horrible but it was very stressful to be someone's therapist on the game and know that if you stopped talking to them they would go and jump off a building. I was worried about him when I didn't see him for a while, but there was little I could have done.
LoL this sounds like a list of all the guys I have dated or something but I just found it funny how many different stories there is to tell about the people you meet on the game. And just to make it clear, I never dated these guys, they were people I talked on the game – I don't even know how they looked like, I still don't.
ANYWAY, after this little episode I started to hang out with a guy from my linkshell. He was really funny and I really really liked him. If he hadn't been 10 years younger from me I would have asked him out in the real world. We were the absolute best friends and I loved hanging out with him. I even agreed to marry him in the game, but this was just because I thought it was something fun we could do together (we never did get married). I had no real feelings for him what so ever because I would have been branded as a pedophile for that… Little did I know that he was actually in love with me for real. So when the day came when I told him that I wasn't interested in him in that sense the whole hell broke lose. In public chat he was calling me a bitch who only used him to gain things and made his friend harass me to give him his money back (I never got any money from him btw.). I felt really sorry about this because he was the first person in the game I really considered as my friend and also because it triggered people in my linkshell to think that I always had a sugar daddy to get stuff for me.
This all happened only 3 months ago and now the guy who was madly in love with me has a girlfriend in the game… Actually to be honest I think he had a girlfriend the next day I had "dumped" him. Now I am more careful when it comes to letting people to help me because as they say, there is no thing called free lunch – even when it comes to simple online games. Since then I have made some real friends in the game – real friends meaning people I have actually met in real life and talk on a daily basis.
Conclusion…
And when it comes to playing the game now, I have cut it down and will cut it down even more now that the sun has started to shine a bit more. I still love turning on my laptop and escape from my daily routines to this fantasy world where anything is possible, but everything gets mundane sooner or later and I have noticed that the few times that I have actually taken the time to go out I have truly enjoyed myself. I did go to America for 2 weeks in April… I will tell about that some other time.
Hope you didn't fall asleep reading this.
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