All right - a slight update.
So this is my last week at Morgan Stanley... On Friday I was out with one work mate of mine and almost missed the opportunity of my life for a really nice little flat that is quite a bargain for what it is.
I went to see it 1.5 hours late (ugh how embarrasing) and I was slightly tipsy as well by the time I got there. I was pretty sure that I didn't get it because it was nice, well located, cheap and included all the bills, so I wasn't the only person who went to see it.
I pulled all my charmga cards from my pocket (you know the usual: professional female in her late 20s, working for a big investment bank etc. etc.) and yet I still felt that the man wasn't too impressed when I left.
I called him on Saturday to make sure that he understood that I was very interested in it and STILL he said that he will wait until Monday to make a decision. Well, Monday came and I was getting very nervous. I went to see some other flats just in case but none of them were in my price range nor did I really like them much. I really wanted that studio flat because the moment I walked into that tiny living area I felt that I was home.
Well, I got home on Monday evening with no phone call from the landlord. I was getting a bit sad and knew that I shouldn't have killed the spider the previous night because it's bad luck... nor should I have though negatively before that I wasn't going to get it because negative thoughts usually magically happen when you dwell on them beforehand.
Around 8 in the evening I decided that I couldn't live with the pressure of not knowing and I called the landlord... AND HE TOLD ME THAT THEY WOULD OFFER THE PLACE FOR ME IF I WANTED IT.
I still have to come up with £500 TODAY to go pay the deposit but I will go sell my soul if I have to to get it sorted out, I want this place so bad and I am going to get it.
...
I can't wait for all this drama be over - I just want to return to some normality. I'm keeping quite positive though.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Turbulence of life
Ok, so I left my notice at work today... Have to still stay for another two weeks here.
If I was nasty I left right away since Redstone never bothered to make a new contract for me when my probation period was over, but my boss hackled me to stay here for another 2 weeks so I can hand over all my work to other people.
I guess that's ok but I am really doing it just because I am a nice person, there is no law binding me to stay here because I never had a contract... I feel that this place has ripped me off enough as it is, maybe I should have just said that I will leave now.
Well, they were first saying that I should stay for the next 4 weeks but I said that it was a no go.
Ok, so why did I hand in my notice?
Well, before I went on my holiday I had a little discussion with one of the managers about my pay. I felt that I had been worked to the bone for the past few months and I really wanted to get a raise. Only response I got from them was that they were going to review it sometime in the future.
Well, I went for my holiday and when I got back I entered a complete chaos that had formed when I had been away. The first day I was back from my holiday I was feeling very stressed and felt like I needed another holiday. This all boiled down to me bursting into tears in our meeting room because of the sheer pressure that was on my shoulders.
At the same time I had been contacted by an agency who was asking me if I was available for an interview for a different job. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain at that moment so I went for it.
Naturally I got the job (hehe).
While all this was going I also had an "argument" with my roommate/landlord which boiled down to me having to find a new place. I guess this is all good because the new job is waaaaay outside of London and it would take me a very long time to travel there from where I live now, but I really didn't need any more drama at the moment.
So, I am looking for a place to live near Potters Bar, North of London - if anyone reading this has a studio or 1 bedroom flat to rent PLEASE contact me since I need a place to move to in the end of this month.
As you can imagine this circus that I call my life is making me very tired. I have no idea (again) where I will pull money to move again... I am still recovering from my previous chaos and mentally all the stuff that is going on is very draining. But I have to say that there are more positives now in the horizon than negatives.
The new job sounds really nice. My new title is "Junior Account Manager" - no more assistants or admins and no more admin pay either, I will now finally start earning enough money to actually go have a proper hair cut and maybe even go eat out once a month.... that is once I clear out of the ditch I once again will be.
But it's not just the money that is making me very happy about getting this job. There are apparently 30ish people working in the office from 20 different countries. This company has offices almost everywhere in the world and one part of the job is traveling to meet the clients and taking care of the relationships.
Also the fact that the place is out of London... and that I will be moving to live there as well (hopefully). I have been wanting to move out of London for so long just because the quality of life improves basically by every zone you go away from Leicester Square.
I am going to go now, I am feeling really tired and I really can't wait to get back home (well a place where I sleep for now) and lay my head on a pillow.
If I was nasty I left right away since Redstone never bothered to make a new contract for me when my probation period was over, but my boss hackled me to stay here for another 2 weeks so I can hand over all my work to other people.
I guess that's ok but I am really doing it just because I am a nice person, there is no law binding me to stay here because I never had a contract... I feel that this place has ripped me off enough as it is, maybe I should have just said that I will leave now.
Well, they were first saying that I should stay for the next 4 weeks but I said that it was a no go.
Ok, so why did I hand in my notice?
Well, before I went on my holiday I had a little discussion with one of the managers about my pay. I felt that I had been worked to the bone for the past few months and I really wanted to get a raise. Only response I got from them was that they were going to review it sometime in the future.
Well, I went for my holiday and when I got back I entered a complete chaos that had formed when I had been away. The first day I was back from my holiday I was feeling very stressed and felt like I needed another holiday. This all boiled down to me bursting into tears in our meeting room because of the sheer pressure that was on my shoulders.
At the same time I had been contacted by an agency who was asking me if I was available for an interview for a different job. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain at that moment so I went for it.
Naturally I got the job (hehe).
While all this was going I also had an "argument" with my roommate/landlord which boiled down to me having to find a new place. I guess this is all good because the new job is waaaaay outside of London and it would take me a very long time to travel there from where I live now, but I really didn't need any more drama at the moment.
So, I am looking for a place to live near Potters Bar, North of London - if anyone reading this has a studio or 1 bedroom flat to rent PLEASE contact me since I need a place to move to in the end of this month.
As you can imagine this circus that I call my life is making me very tired. I have no idea (again) where I will pull money to move again... I am still recovering from my previous chaos and mentally all the stuff that is going on is very draining. But I have to say that there are more positives now in the horizon than negatives.
The new job sounds really nice. My new title is "Junior Account Manager" - no more assistants or admins and no more admin pay either, I will now finally start earning enough money to actually go have a proper hair cut and maybe even go eat out once a month.... that is once I clear out of the ditch I once again will be.
But it's not just the money that is making me very happy about getting this job. There are apparently 30ish people working in the office from 20 different countries. This company has offices almost everywhere in the world and one part of the job is traveling to meet the clients and taking care of the relationships.
Also the fact that the place is out of London... and that I will be moving to live there as well (hopefully). I have been wanting to move out of London for so long just because the quality of life improves basically by every zone you go away from Leicester Square.
I am going to go now, I am feeling really tired and I really can't wait to get back home (well a place where I sleep for now) and lay my head on a pillow.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
AAAAAAAARGH
Ok, so I nearly broke up with my boyfriend on Tuesday... I got told to leave the house by the landlord on Wednesday and now Thursday I am writing a resignation letter to work. What is with this year?! All these very extreme things keep happening to me...
I am really tired of life and I am going to be losing my mind if these things keep happening to me...
I keep thinking that it is life's way of telling me that better days are coming and this is just a big lesson, but I think sometimes you just have a very shit luck.
Not 100% sure yet if I will quit my job but it is driving me crazy at the moment, I will keep you posted.
I am really tired of life and I am going to be losing my mind if these things keep happening to me...
I keep thinking that it is life's way of telling me that better days are coming and this is just a big lesson, but I think sometimes you just have a very shit luck.
Not 100% sure yet if I will quit my job but it is driving me crazy at the moment, I will keep you posted.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Manual
I have always thought that I am very low maintenance as a girl. I don't expect to get presents every day - or even ever to be honest, I genuinely get surprised every time someone gets something for me. I don't expect flowers (which of course would make my day). I don't expect cooked meals after a hard day at work or suprising little notes telling me I am special. I don't expect text messages every hour with sweet nothingness in them or silly email cards with a bunny spelling words "I love you" - I honestly don't expect any of those in a relationship. Naturally they are things that would be nice and would make me smile and forget about the little negative things that might cause an argument but they are not a neccesity for me in a relationship. I guess that's a way to show to the other person that you are thinking of them... but for me it is enough if the other person shows respect to me and makes me feel safe and happy.
I am one of those people who needs reassurance every day that everything is ok. A little thing could make my world rumble but if I have a strong individual besides me telling me to relax and not to worry I will be fine.
I need hugs and kisses in the morning, in the day and in the evening. I need to cuddle and hear sweet words and plans that might not ever even happen. That's all - that's the incredients for a healthy relationship with me...
I flame up easy, I have always been told that I am very temperamentic personality. Some would say it is good some would say that it is very annoying - I say that it's just who I am and you need to deal with it accordingly.
I get upset about the silliest things but 10 minutes later I can be laughing about something completely different and have completely forgotten what I was upset about. The worst thing at that point is to ignore me or stir it to make it worse.
If I don't get my daily affection I can turn nasty, insecure and bossy. I will start to pick on the smallest things because I am being taken for granted (or at least that is how it feels like since there is no way of knowing the other person thinks of you if they don't show it).
I think all this is pretty standard behaviour for a girl - what you think?
Anyway - that was just a little side note of my general feelings. I was in Finland for a week with my boyfriend Chris. Was great to see my family and some of my friends, breath clean air and swim in a lake that had crystal clear water. We barbequed like every single day and went to sauna - was highly relaxing compared to the sorry existense I have in London at the moment. My work is really stressing me out, eventhough this is the 2nd day back here and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and forget that I have any responsibilities.
I had a meeting with my boss today as well about my payrise and he was being really nice and understanding... which was horrible because my nerves are really shakey at the moment and anything could make me cry. I did manage to keep myself together though...
I just wish this week would be over already. I need a weekend to just sleep and spoil myself. I know I just got back from holiday and I should be all relaxed but things have been a bit "hard" emotionally lol... I need to have one of those "what's the meaning of life" conversations with myself again.
I am one of those people who needs reassurance every day that everything is ok. A little thing could make my world rumble but if I have a strong individual besides me telling me to relax and not to worry I will be fine.
I need hugs and kisses in the morning, in the day and in the evening. I need to cuddle and hear sweet words and plans that might not ever even happen. That's all - that's the incredients for a healthy relationship with me...
I flame up easy, I have always been told that I am very temperamentic personality. Some would say it is good some would say that it is very annoying - I say that it's just who I am and you need to deal with it accordingly.
I get upset about the silliest things but 10 minutes later I can be laughing about something completely different and have completely forgotten what I was upset about. The worst thing at that point is to ignore me or stir it to make it worse.
If I don't get my daily affection I can turn nasty, insecure and bossy. I will start to pick on the smallest things because I am being taken for granted (or at least that is how it feels like since there is no way of knowing the other person thinks of you if they don't show it).
I think all this is pretty standard behaviour for a girl - what you think?
Anyway - that was just a little side note of my general feelings. I was in Finland for a week with my boyfriend Chris. Was great to see my family and some of my friends, breath clean air and swim in a lake that had crystal clear water. We barbequed like every single day and went to sauna - was highly relaxing compared to the sorry existense I have in London at the moment. My work is really stressing me out, eventhough this is the 2nd day back here and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and forget that I have any responsibilities.
I had a meeting with my boss today as well about my payrise and he was being really nice and understanding... which was horrible because my nerves are really shakey at the moment and anything could make me cry. I did manage to keep myself together though...
I just wish this week would be over already. I need a weekend to just sleep and spoil myself. I know I just got back from holiday and I should be all relaxed but things have been a bit "hard" emotionally lol... I need to have one of those "what's the meaning of life" conversations with myself again.
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