I have become so lazy at writing and well... the huge post I made the other day wasn't the most pleasant thing to read... I guess I just hit a low point and needed to vent a bit. I know I shouldn't whine and place blame on people who don't really deserve it - it's not good for the karma plus it just makes me bitter, and bitter that post was. I have had a shit luck, so what? I am sure it will change eventually plus I already have some really great things going for me at the moment, just need to be patient and remember to appreciate little things in life that keeps us all going.
The past few months have made me realize the importance of having people around you since I haven't had many. I had my sister visit me and some friends from Finland but besides that I have been living my life pretty much like a hermit because I haven't had money to go out and meet people. People at work have asked me to go out for drinks on several occasions but I have always turned them down because I can't go sit in a pub with nothing in front of me, it's not just awkward, it's also embarrasing. And calling people on the weekend and asking them out has been totally out of the picture. So pretty much all the human contacts that I have had in the past few months are only at work (I can't count my roommates because we don't really spend time together).
Well, I didn't want this to be a whiny post because that's not how I feel at all, I am feeling quite positive. I guess the point that I am trying to say here is that I miss my friends in Finland. I used to live a life where I saw my friends every single day no matter if I had money or not. I used to ride my bike to go visit my friends for a cup of coffee at their place and this cost absolutely nothing. London makes this impossible - London rips you off no matter what you do (I NEED TO GET OUT!).
But as I said before, I am feeling pretty positive today. There has been talk about me getting a payrise sometime soon and even if I was someone else looking at the situation from the outside I couldn't think of a better person to get a payrise - I am now keeping my fingers crossed that I will get it.
Only 3 days (including today) until my week long summer holiday starts. Chris is coming to my place on Friday and then on Sunday we fly to Finland. I am waiting for Friday like the rising moon - I haven't been able to spend time with him for 3 months now and it will be heaven to be able to hug him and drown him in kisses...
Me and a friend of mine are going to go see Madonna in September at Wembley stadium. I am really excited about it since her last show was really awesome! My friend, being a lucky bugger got us tickets to the Golden Circle as well (right in front of the stage) - will have to go there probably the previous day since the Golden Circle still is quite big area.
I can't wait!!!
Soo.... recap of everything - ALL IS FINE! I am pretty happy and if I get the payrise I will be partying!!!
W00t W00t!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Bathroom dilemma
Ok so last night I was going to bed cos it was getting late and I was getting very tired. Just like so many nights before I ran downstairs to quickly go brush my teeth and do whatever I needed to do before jumping in to my bed .... and just like so many nights before the bathroom was occupied by my roommate so I had to return to my room and start waiting. 30 minutes later he was still in the bathroom and I was getting really annoyed. This was not the 1st time I have been staying up until God knows how late because I have been waiting to get in to the bathroom.
Well... I decided to wash my make-up in the kitchen sink while I was waiting but since he STILL wasn't out from the bathroom I had to do the extreme and go pee in the garden (can you believe I pay £500 every month for this fun?!). I didn't get to brush my teeth (again) but at least I could go to sleep.
Well, this morning I got up at 6.45 - 45 minutes before I have to leave the house to go to the bus stop. I run downstairs to go pee and brush my teeth and wash my face but just like so many mornings before my roommate had taken over the bathroom. I prepare my lunch and he is still in the bathroom - I wash my face in the kitchen sink (again) so I can put on my make-up. I go check the bathroom door just before I am supposed to leave the house - he is still in the bathroom (If I didn't know any better I'd say he has died in there...). I have to leave to the bus stop without being able to brush my teeth (again) and once I get to work I have to run to the bathroom so I can go pee (I guess I could have gone to the garden again...).
What's the lesson in this story?
If you share a house don't fucking waste everyone's time by grooming yourself in the bathroom if you have only one bathroom in the house - it's the peak of selfisness. No one likes early mornings but YOU MAKE IT WORSE by not letting people go to sleep on time or go have that morning wee in peace. I would take max 5 minutes in the bathroom in the morning because I have a habit of having my shower in the previous day after work. I just want to brush my teeth and pee!!!!!!!
Well... I decided to wash my make-up in the kitchen sink while I was waiting but since he STILL wasn't out from the bathroom I had to do the extreme and go pee in the garden (can you believe I pay £500 every month for this fun?!). I didn't get to brush my teeth (again) but at least I could go to sleep.
Well, this morning I got up at 6.45 - 45 minutes before I have to leave the house to go to the bus stop. I run downstairs to go pee and brush my teeth and wash my face but just like so many mornings before my roommate had taken over the bathroom. I prepare my lunch and he is still in the bathroom - I wash my face in the kitchen sink (again) so I can put on my make-up. I go check the bathroom door just before I am supposed to leave the house - he is still in the bathroom (If I didn't know any better I'd say he has died in there...). I have to leave to the bus stop without being able to brush my teeth (again) and once I get to work I have to run to the bathroom so I can go pee (I guess I could have gone to the garden again...).
What's the lesson in this story?
If you share a house don't fucking waste everyone's time by grooming yourself in the bathroom if you have only one bathroom in the house - it's the peak of selfisness. No one likes early mornings but YOU MAKE IT WORSE by not letting people go to sleep on time or go have that morning wee in peace. I would take max 5 minutes in the bathroom in the morning because I have a habit of having my shower in the previous day after work. I just want to brush my teeth and pee!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
My life is in recession...
Lately I have been feeling that life really has turned it's back on me and fate has forgotten my existense.
For the past year and a half... or maybe even more.. I have been going from one bad choice to the next. I am struggling through life and shit keeps coming on my way. Year 2008 has been nothing but easy - I think this year is a year that really tests whether I am ready to pass this course in life skills.
My problems started really when I decided to go to America. I didn't think all the aspects of "moving" to another side of the world... (hmm, sounds very familiar... I wonder if I have ever done that before....*pulls hair*). I was fooled to believe that everything was going to be fine and someone would share the burden of "life" with me - but that just taught me that you live and you die alone in this world - you can't trust anyone. I know that sounds very cynical and bitter, but that was the LAST time I let anyone use me so platantly as I was used when I was in America...
I was SO poor when I was in America that it is not funny. I had to use my credit card to the maximum limit and like I wrote before, all the stuff I bought when I was there is still there... I don't have any of the stuff that I am now paying for (yeah, even my clothes).
I was having regular panic attacks in America, I was crying for days and spent hours in a dark closet hiding from the world. I know that probably sounds really sad but I was going crazy big time when I was there. Sometimes I was getting worried of my life because I would start hyperventilating when the panic attacks got really bad - It's a scary feeling when you are already crying and panicing and suddenly you can't even breath...
I had all the strange new stuff to deal with and also a "boyfriend" who kept promising me the moon from the sky and the next day lieing to my face why he couldn't do this and that. I have always been a fool for "pretty words" and naively I always have believed everything that people tell me. I have always believed that beneath everyone is good, but I have learned the hard way that this is not the case, no matter how much I want it to be.
It makes me sad to think about the episode I had in America - it had all the potential of being the best time of my life (and some parts of it was really great) but it turned out to be the biggest mistake I have ever made. Wish I could just erase it from my mind, but I have a huge credit card bill reminding me of it at least for the next year or so.
Well, anyway - America got me in to a chrisis with the bills I had piling up - well mainly my phone bill and my credit card. My "boyfriend" told me that he would pay my phone bill since I had paid his HUGE phone bill when I was in America and he said that he would sell the stuff I had bought and basically pay me back all the stuff that I had bought for him when I was there but... as you can guess he never paid anything...
I was really lucky when I got to Finland from America in November last year - I got me a temporary job in the local department store for 2 months. I spend the whole Christmas time in Finland and once the contract ended I was face to face with a situation again where I had to make a decision on what to do with my life. I was quite happy in Finland and for 2 months I had been free from panic attacks and then they hit me again. I had made a decision to go back to London, most likely because I was confident that I could get a job from there easy and also for the fact that my credit card was from UK and if I ever wanted to pay it back I would need to have some kind of income to my UK bank account.
I missed the first flight I had booked to London because I had such a bad panic attack ... things were starting to go crazy again. I booked me another flight and I guess I had a better day on the day of the flight because I managed to make it to London.
I was very lucky to get a job quite soon after I got to UK - within my 1st week in London. I actually got 2 jobs, 1st was a receptionist role in a media company and the 2nd was an assistant role for a big bank. I decided to go for the role in the bank because I thought that they would be more reliable and they also paid slightly better pay. I also did some temporary work before I started my permanent role (conclusion: in London it is SO easy to find work if you really need it and if you aren't too picky on what you will be doing).
Anyway, I was happy for getting a job and I also found me a nice room to rent for a month for the time when I was looking for a more permanent place to live in.
The month was passing fast and I was waiting for my very 1st pay day like rising moon because I was running out of money, I had to wait extra week longer to get paid because I had started working in the middle of the month, I had to move out of my room (which meant paying for deposits etc.) and did I mention that I was running out of money... BIG TIME!
I can't believe that I fell for the same stupid bullshit that I had fallen for just 6 months earlier. My "boyfriend" - who at this point was "ex-boyfriend" - told me that he would be sending me money because he owed me so much, he even told me that he had gone to the bank and taken care of it. He also said that his mother had bought my TV (yeah this awesome 37' LCD HD TV) and he would be sending the money for that.
Well, I never got any money from him (I still haven't) - what a big surprise... but at that time I still believed that he was actually doing what he said he would and that caused SO much trouble. The week I was getting paid I had to take 3 days off because I didn't have money to buy me a travelcard to go to work ... let alone buy food - bless the family I was living with because I had to steal food from them (nothing too fancy, just rice and a banana occasionally) - that's the first time I have been driven SO LOW that I had to actually steal something to stay alive.
Well anyway, I had my spirits kept up for the fact that I was getting paid in few days and I was moving that weekend as well - so no panic attacks then.... but oh dear... God really has a twisted sense of humor since this is when things really started to get interesting:
Day 1 (Thursday)
I go over my overdraft on my bank account because I had to buy me a travelcard to get to work. This is the pay day so it doesn't make much of a difference - £25 penalty but I can handle it. Today I also need to go pay the deposit for my new flat where I will move on Saturday.
I get to work - no one has been paid - no one knows why no one has been paid.
I call my new flat and explain that I can't come that day.
Day 2 (Friday)
I go over my overdraft again because I had to buy the travelcard (another £25 fine)
I get to work - no one has been paid - no one knows why no one has been paid.... I start to panic since I can't go pay my deposit to my new flat where I am supposed to move the next day.
Midday we get informed that the company we were working for has gone to liqudation and we have all been made redundant. No one will get paid.
My mind enters autopilot and panic starts to take over - I am going homeless, jobless and I will starve to death.
I ask every single person I know to lend me money... NO ONE lends me money (not even £10 so I could buy food).
I surf the internet for all the loans I could imagine getting and apply to all of them. I manage to gather together £500 of all the payday loans that were willing to lend me a bit of money with interest rate out of this universe but there really was no other choice... I call my new flat and tell them that I can come over and they tell me that they don't want me to move there anymore because they can't trust me to pay the rent. At that point I felt that I was meant to fail this - I really was going homeless the next day eventhough I worked so hard the whole day to get that money together.
I contacted Finnish embassy saying that I was going homeless and even they said that they couldn't help me.
I go home, knowing that I will have to leave my room when I wake up - I can't remember anything of that night, I think I was in a shock of somekind, I can't even remember crying... I probably wasn't.
Day 3 (Saturday)
I wake up.
I have been granted a little bit of strength and willpower during the night and I start my mission to sort out the mess I am in.
I search all the posts on gumtree for flats and arrange only 1 viewing for few hours from the moment I woke up. I get my essential stuff together and leave my room for good...
Felt very strange walking on the streets of London not having a place to go that night. My friends were out of town so I couldn't even go stay at them...
I go view this flat which seems ok and tell them that I want the room - naturally it's not just up to me whether they take me there or not. I go sit in a cafe and wait for a call which.... after a few hours comes and I am invited to start living in this house.
I only pay £500 out of the £750 I am supposed to pay (I didn't tell him about my situation since he would have NEVER let me stay there if he knew what had been going on) - I tell him that I will pay the rest in the folowing week (without knowing if that was even possible).
The folowing week another company took over our business and gave us all "a hardship fund" of £2500 that literally saved my life... I had to pay my £500 loan back which ended up taking about £1000 off that because of all the intrests (NEVER USE PAY DAY LOANS - THEY ARE RIDICULOUS!) and the rest I used to sort out my life like paying the rent etc. But this "hardship fund" was just a loan and we had to pay it back... well, I am still paying it back and it's messing up my life as we speak.
Not only this, but I have been going out with this wonderful guy (as if you didn't know for reading all my posts) who has been stuck in the army detention centre and I haven't actually been able to spend any time with him - apart from 2 hours a week holding hands across a table.
Anyway - so the long story short. I have been through so much shit in the past 12 months that sometimes I wonder why I keep trying. I am so tired of all this and especially because I have been going through all this shit alone.
The whole episode of stealing food and going homeless has made me realize who my friends are. All of you reading this that I asked money from few months ago I hope you feel really proud of yourself. I know you are not obliged to help your friends when they ask for help but just remember this, when you next time need a favor don't be suprised if I don't even answer your call, because I could care less. You all knew that I was starving on those few days, you all knew I was going homeless and yet ALL of you came up with some excuses why you couldn't lend me money... not even £10 for food. Though I appreciate a few of you offering me a place to stay if it went that far, I will keep you on my friend list still but the rest of you can just disappear from my life. I know that sounds harsh but I don't need friends who are there only when the sun is shining.
I always help everyone, even if it means I have to cut the cheese off my bread - I can't understand people who won't do anything. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HUMILIATING IT IS TO ASK FOR MONEY?!
Maybe this year is the year for me to clean up my life of all the cob webs that I have gathered in the years I have been on this earth. I haven't had any panic attacks for a very long time even though my life has been doing cartwheels. I am very poor even though I am working in one of the biggest banks in the world, I have debt reaching all the way to my neck (thanks to all the shitty choices I have made) and basically I should be going to the mental hospital already for all the stress that I am experiencing all the time because of the lack of money. But the secret for me has always been to be in control to keep some kind of sanity and that is what I have been for the past few months - My world collapsed around me but I fought my way back on top of the rubble and the foundations of new life are already being built. Maybe this time I live my life a bit smarter...
(PS. sorry if this post make no sense and is written with very bad grammar but it is a very long post and I cant be asked to go through it again...)
For the past year and a half... or maybe even more.. I have been going from one bad choice to the next. I am struggling through life and shit keeps coming on my way. Year 2008 has been nothing but easy - I think this year is a year that really tests whether I am ready to pass this course in life skills.
My problems started really when I decided to go to America. I didn't think all the aspects of "moving" to another side of the world... (hmm, sounds very familiar... I wonder if I have ever done that before....*pulls hair*). I was fooled to believe that everything was going to be fine and someone would share the burden of "life" with me - but that just taught me that you live and you die alone in this world - you can't trust anyone. I know that sounds very cynical and bitter, but that was the LAST time I let anyone use me so platantly as I was used when I was in America...
I was SO poor when I was in America that it is not funny. I had to use my credit card to the maximum limit and like I wrote before, all the stuff I bought when I was there is still there... I don't have any of the stuff that I am now paying for (yeah, even my clothes).
I was having regular panic attacks in America, I was crying for days and spent hours in a dark closet hiding from the world. I know that probably sounds really sad but I was going crazy big time when I was there. Sometimes I was getting worried of my life because I would start hyperventilating when the panic attacks got really bad - It's a scary feeling when you are already crying and panicing and suddenly you can't even breath...
I had all the strange new stuff to deal with and also a "boyfriend" who kept promising me the moon from the sky and the next day lieing to my face why he couldn't do this and that. I have always been a fool for "pretty words" and naively I always have believed everything that people tell me. I have always believed that beneath everyone is good, but I have learned the hard way that this is not the case, no matter how much I want it to be.
It makes me sad to think about the episode I had in America - it had all the potential of being the best time of my life (and some parts of it was really great) but it turned out to be the biggest mistake I have ever made. Wish I could just erase it from my mind, but I have a huge credit card bill reminding me of it at least for the next year or so.
Well, anyway - America got me in to a chrisis with the bills I had piling up - well mainly my phone bill and my credit card. My "boyfriend" told me that he would pay my phone bill since I had paid his HUGE phone bill when I was in America and he said that he would sell the stuff I had bought and basically pay me back all the stuff that I had bought for him when I was there but... as you can guess he never paid anything...
I was really lucky when I got to Finland from America in November last year - I got me a temporary job in the local department store for 2 months. I spend the whole Christmas time in Finland and once the contract ended I was face to face with a situation again where I had to make a decision on what to do with my life. I was quite happy in Finland and for 2 months I had been free from panic attacks and then they hit me again. I had made a decision to go back to London, most likely because I was confident that I could get a job from there easy and also for the fact that my credit card was from UK and if I ever wanted to pay it back I would need to have some kind of income to my UK bank account.
I missed the first flight I had booked to London because I had such a bad panic attack ... things were starting to go crazy again. I booked me another flight and I guess I had a better day on the day of the flight because I managed to make it to London.
I was very lucky to get a job quite soon after I got to UK - within my 1st week in London. I actually got 2 jobs, 1st was a receptionist role in a media company and the 2nd was an assistant role for a big bank. I decided to go for the role in the bank because I thought that they would be more reliable and they also paid slightly better pay. I also did some temporary work before I started my permanent role (conclusion: in London it is SO easy to find work if you really need it and if you aren't too picky on what you will be doing).
Anyway, I was happy for getting a job and I also found me a nice room to rent for a month for the time when I was looking for a more permanent place to live in.
The month was passing fast and I was waiting for my very 1st pay day like rising moon because I was running out of money, I had to wait extra week longer to get paid because I had started working in the middle of the month, I had to move out of my room (which meant paying for deposits etc.) and did I mention that I was running out of money... BIG TIME!
I can't believe that I fell for the same stupid bullshit that I had fallen for just 6 months earlier. My "boyfriend" - who at this point was "ex-boyfriend" - told me that he would be sending me money because he owed me so much, he even told me that he had gone to the bank and taken care of it. He also said that his mother had bought my TV (yeah this awesome 37' LCD HD TV) and he would be sending the money for that.
Well, I never got any money from him (I still haven't) - what a big surprise... but at that time I still believed that he was actually doing what he said he would and that caused SO much trouble. The week I was getting paid I had to take 3 days off because I didn't have money to buy me a travelcard to go to work ... let alone buy food - bless the family I was living with because I had to steal food from them (nothing too fancy, just rice and a banana occasionally) - that's the first time I have been driven SO LOW that I had to actually steal something to stay alive.
Well anyway, I had my spirits kept up for the fact that I was getting paid in few days and I was moving that weekend as well - so no panic attacks then.... but oh dear... God really has a twisted sense of humor since this is when things really started to get interesting:
Day 1 (Thursday)
I go over my overdraft on my bank account because I had to buy me a travelcard to get to work. This is the pay day so it doesn't make much of a difference - £25 penalty but I can handle it. Today I also need to go pay the deposit for my new flat where I will move on Saturday.
I get to work - no one has been paid - no one knows why no one has been paid.
I call my new flat and explain that I can't come that day.
Day 2 (Friday)
I go over my overdraft again because I had to buy the travelcard (another £25 fine)
I get to work - no one has been paid - no one knows why no one has been paid.... I start to panic since I can't go pay my deposit to my new flat where I am supposed to move the next day.
Midday we get informed that the company we were working for has gone to liqudation and we have all been made redundant. No one will get paid.
My mind enters autopilot and panic starts to take over - I am going homeless, jobless and I will starve to death.
I ask every single person I know to lend me money... NO ONE lends me money (not even £10 so I could buy food).
I surf the internet for all the loans I could imagine getting and apply to all of them. I manage to gather together £500 of all the payday loans that were willing to lend me a bit of money with interest rate out of this universe but there really was no other choice... I call my new flat and tell them that I can come over and they tell me that they don't want me to move there anymore because they can't trust me to pay the rent. At that point I felt that I was meant to fail this - I really was going homeless the next day eventhough I worked so hard the whole day to get that money together.
I contacted Finnish embassy saying that I was going homeless and even they said that they couldn't help me.
I go home, knowing that I will have to leave my room when I wake up - I can't remember anything of that night, I think I was in a shock of somekind, I can't even remember crying... I probably wasn't.
Day 3 (Saturday)
I wake up.
I have been granted a little bit of strength and willpower during the night and I start my mission to sort out the mess I am in.
I search all the posts on gumtree for flats and arrange only 1 viewing for few hours from the moment I woke up. I get my essential stuff together and leave my room for good...
Felt very strange walking on the streets of London not having a place to go that night. My friends were out of town so I couldn't even go stay at them...
I go view this flat which seems ok and tell them that I want the room - naturally it's not just up to me whether they take me there or not. I go sit in a cafe and wait for a call which.... after a few hours comes and I am invited to start living in this house.
I only pay £500 out of the £750 I am supposed to pay (I didn't tell him about my situation since he would have NEVER let me stay there if he knew what had been going on) - I tell him that I will pay the rest in the folowing week (without knowing if that was even possible).
The folowing week another company took over our business and gave us all "a hardship fund" of £2500 that literally saved my life... I had to pay my £500 loan back which ended up taking about £1000 off that because of all the intrests (NEVER USE PAY DAY LOANS - THEY ARE RIDICULOUS!) and the rest I used to sort out my life like paying the rent etc. But this "hardship fund" was just a loan and we had to pay it back... well, I am still paying it back and it's messing up my life as we speak.
Not only this, but I have been going out with this wonderful guy (as if you didn't know for reading all my posts) who has been stuck in the army detention centre and I haven't actually been able to spend any time with him - apart from 2 hours a week holding hands across a table.
Anyway - so the long story short. I have been through so much shit in the past 12 months that sometimes I wonder why I keep trying. I am so tired of all this and especially because I have been going through all this shit alone.
The whole episode of stealing food and going homeless has made me realize who my friends are. All of you reading this that I asked money from few months ago I hope you feel really proud of yourself. I know you are not obliged to help your friends when they ask for help but just remember this, when you next time need a favor don't be suprised if I don't even answer your call, because I could care less. You all knew that I was starving on those few days, you all knew I was going homeless and yet ALL of you came up with some excuses why you couldn't lend me money... not even £10 for food. Though I appreciate a few of you offering me a place to stay if it went that far, I will keep you on my friend list still but the rest of you can just disappear from my life. I know that sounds harsh but I don't need friends who are there only when the sun is shining.
I always help everyone, even if it means I have to cut the cheese off my bread - I can't understand people who won't do anything. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HUMILIATING IT IS TO ASK FOR MONEY?!
Maybe this year is the year for me to clean up my life of all the cob webs that I have gathered in the years I have been on this earth. I haven't had any panic attacks for a very long time even though my life has been doing cartwheels. I am very poor even though I am working in one of the biggest banks in the world, I have debt reaching all the way to my neck (thanks to all the shitty choices I have made) and basically I should be going to the mental hospital already for all the stress that I am experiencing all the time because of the lack of money. But the secret for me has always been to be in control to keep some kind of sanity and that is what I have been for the past few months - My world collapsed around me but I fought my way back on top of the rubble and the foundations of new life are already being built. Maybe this time I live my life a bit smarter...
(PS. sorry if this post make no sense and is written with very bad grammar but it is a very long post and I cant be asked to go through it again...)
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
There's nothing like an airport for bringing you down to earth
What a pain in the backside it has been to get flights to Finland with a reasonable price...
Basically I have been waiting for a while now to get information from Chris when he will be on holiday from the gray and green colours of the army, but since he has been in the detention center it has been very difficult to get any information out of him. Well finally on the weekend I got confirmation of the dates that we might be able to go to Finland and since then I have been desperately surfing on every single website in the internet trying to find flights for us but before I go into that let me tell you a bit about yesterday...
So yesterday I got my holiday approved by my manager and I thought that once I get home I go online and book us the flights. When I left work it was raining and naturally I didn't have a jacket with me because after all IT IS JULY!!! Well, I decided to wait for a bus since it takes me closer to home (than tube or DLR would) which means less walking in the rain. This bus is supposed to run every 10 minutes but after 30 minutes of waiting in the rain the bus finally shows up... I was not happy. I got on and the driver with very bad teeth said something to me that I didn't quite catch - I asked what he said and he repeated himself but all I heard was "jada jada jada jada, I have really stinking bad teeth" - I just said "OK" and went to sit down. For a second I felt good because I though that he had apologised that the bus was running late - could I have been more wrong.
Near Blackwall Tunnel roundabout the bus stops and the driver announces that it was the last stop - this was about 4 stops from where I had got on... Blackwall Tunnel roundabout is no where near of basically anything so at first I thought that I just wait at that bus stop for the next bus (and so did 15 other people) but then I thought how late that previous bus had been and decided to walk to Blackwall DLR station (in the rain...). I know they say that if the bus is late and you have already been waiting you should never start walking because the odds are that the moment you leave the bus will arrive but yesterday that wasn't the case and I am happy I decided to do what I did. It took me probably 10 - 15 minutes to walk to the station and take the DLR and when the train passed the bus stop where the bus had left us I saw the same people waiting for the bus still... in the rain.
When I finally got home my socks and shoes were dripping of water and I was feeling a bit miserable. After a long hot shower I sat down on my chair and started the mad surfing for the flights. Ryan Air: no space - Blue1: space but very expensive - SAS: space but VERY expensive - KLM: same story - BA: same.... I was starting to sink to the feeling of self pity every time I saw the figures go up. Then I got an idea - We will fly to Tallinn and take a boat from there to Finland and here's the result for that: Easy Jet: Space but times were awkward and prices not THAT much cheaper - Other companies: VERY EXPENSIVE. So there it was, another set back and I heard myself sobbing already, the stress was making me mad. I checked flights to Stockholm and even St. Petersburgh but there was always something that put me off from booking the tickets.
Then I finally decided to book the ridiculously expensive Brittish Airways tickets just to get rid of the stress and when I had pressed the "book these tickets" button a notification comes on my screen saying that the card I used to pay for the flights was not accepted. At that moment I turned off my laptop and went to the kitchen to make me some food. I was starving and in the verge of tears because I was so stressed out that we were not going to go on a holiday and I wasn't going to see my family and friends. I told myself to calm down because I was acting hysterical at that point, I wasn't quite understanding why I was so emotional about the whole thing but I really could have used a hug and someone telling me that everything was going to be fine (which I probably would have argued saying "how the f**** you think things will be fine!!???" - lol I am not good at taking comforting unless the words actually mean something).
So the result of yesterday: no flights booked and 1 sad little girl hugging her aromatherapeutic duck.
Well... today I came to work and booked us flights to Finland (it's a miracle what a calm mind after a night of sleep can do). I had entered the wrong expiery date of my credit card to the booking details and that's why my card hadn't been accepted on the BA site. I nipped 2 days off from our holiday and got a fairly reasonable price by doing that as well (still you could have a nice holiday in Spain with the money we paid for just the flights...). I feel SO relieved that it has now been taken care of and in roughly 2 weeks I will see my family again (and I get to show Chris where I am from!)
Basically I have been waiting for a while now to get information from Chris when he will be on holiday from the gray and green colours of the army, but since he has been in the detention center it has been very difficult to get any information out of him. Well finally on the weekend I got confirmation of the dates that we might be able to go to Finland and since then I have been desperately surfing on every single website in the internet trying to find flights for us but before I go into that let me tell you a bit about yesterday...
So yesterday I got my holiday approved by my manager and I thought that once I get home I go online and book us the flights. When I left work it was raining and naturally I didn't have a jacket with me because after all IT IS JULY!!! Well, I decided to wait for a bus since it takes me closer to home (than tube or DLR would) which means less walking in the rain. This bus is supposed to run every 10 minutes but after 30 minutes of waiting in the rain the bus finally shows up... I was not happy. I got on and the driver with very bad teeth said something to me that I didn't quite catch - I asked what he said and he repeated himself but all I heard was "jada jada jada jada, I have really stinking bad teeth" - I just said "OK" and went to sit down. For a second I felt good because I though that he had apologised that the bus was running late - could I have been more wrong.
Near Blackwall Tunnel roundabout the bus stops and the driver announces that it was the last stop - this was about 4 stops from where I had got on... Blackwall Tunnel roundabout is no where near of basically anything so at first I thought that I just wait at that bus stop for the next bus (and so did 15 other people) but then I thought how late that previous bus had been and decided to walk to Blackwall DLR station (in the rain...). I know they say that if the bus is late and you have already been waiting you should never start walking because the odds are that the moment you leave the bus will arrive but yesterday that wasn't the case and I am happy I decided to do what I did. It took me probably 10 - 15 minutes to walk to the station and take the DLR and when the train passed the bus stop where the bus had left us I saw the same people waiting for the bus still... in the rain.
When I finally got home my socks and shoes were dripping of water and I was feeling a bit miserable. After a long hot shower I sat down on my chair and started the mad surfing for the flights. Ryan Air: no space - Blue1: space but very expensive - SAS: space but VERY expensive - KLM: same story - BA: same.... I was starting to sink to the feeling of self pity every time I saw the figures go up. Then I got an idea - We will fly to Tallinn and take a boat from there to Finland and here's the result for that: Easy Jet: Space but times were awkward and prices not THAT much cheaper - Other companies: VERY EXPENSIVE. So there it was, another set back and I heard myself sobbing already, the stress was making me mad. I checked flights to Stockholm and even St. Petersburgh but there was always something that put me off from booking the tickets.
Then I finally decided to book the ridiculously expensive Brittish Airways tickets just to get rid of the stress and when I had pressed the "book these tickets" button a notification comes on my screen saying that the card I used to pay for the flights was not accepted. At that moment I turned off my laptop and went to the kitchen to make me some food. I was starving and in the verge of tears because I was so stressed out that we were not going to go on a holiday and I wasn't going to see my family and friends. I told myself to calm down because I was acting hysterical at that point, I wasn't quite understanding why I was so emotional about the whole thing but I really could have used a hug and someone telling me that everything was going to be fine (which I probably would have argued saying "how the f**** you think things will be fine!!???" - lol I am not good at taking comforting unless the words actually mean something).
So the result of yesterday: no flights booked and 1 sad little girl hugging her aromatherapeutic duck.
Well... today I came to work and booked us flights to Finland (it's a miracle what a calm mind after a night of sleep can do). I had entered the wrong expiery date of my credit card to the booking details and that's why my card hadn't been accepted on the BA site. I nipped 2 days off from our holiday and got a fairly reasonable price by doing that as well (still you could have a nice holiday in Spain with the money we paid for just the flights...). I feel SO relieved that it has now been taken care of and in roughly 2 weeks I will see my family again (and I get to show Chris where I am from!)
Thursday, July 03, 2008
20 year plan
I have made a list of all the places I WILL go to in the next 20 years - these are not in any particular order and some of the places I have already been to but I want to go again just to take that picture to my "I TOLD YOU I COULD DO THIS" photo album.
Any of you who know me, knows that I am a passionate traveller but my trips have lately shrunk to circumstances making me fly from one country to another. I am now going to make a concious effort to settle down a bit, save money and start picking these places off my list little by little - one or two weeks at a time.
Macchu Picchu in Peru
The Great Barrier Reef in Australia
Jerusalem in Israel
Himalayas (Mount Everest) & Potala Palace in Tibet
Christ of Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Chitzen Itza in Mexico
Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransisco
Hollywood in Los Angeles, USA
Grand Canyon in Arizona, USA
Las Vegas in Nevada, USA
Taj Mahal in India
The Great Wall of China
Colosseum, Vatican, Rome - Italy
Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
Stonehenge, England
Leaning Tower of Pisa
Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, Turkey
Petra in Jordan
Victoria Falls in Zambia/Zimbabwe
Niagara Falls in Canada
Panama Canal
Hoover Dam, Arizona, USA
Brooklyn Bridge, Statue of Liberty in New York, USA
Lake Baikal, Russia
Angor Wat in Cambodia
Iguazu Falls in Brazil
Amazon Rainforest
Bora Bora
Venice in Italy
Hawaii in USA
Masai Mara in Kenya
Easter Islands
Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Paris - France
I have probably missed something but luckily it's my list and I can update it whenever something comes to my mind.
BUT what I will do now is get me a big world map that I will put on my wall and get a box of coloured needles that I will put to these places to remind me that my life is here to be lived.
Something tells me though that the first trip will be to Stonehenge because it takes least money - SOMEONE PLEASE FUND MY TRIPS!!!!!
Any of you who know me, knows that I am a passionate traveller but my trips have lately shrunk to circumstances making me fly from one country to another. I am now going to make a concious effort to settle down a bit, save money and start picking these places off my list little by little - one or two weeks at a time.
Macchu Picchu in Peru
The Great Barrier Reef in Australia
Jerusalem in Israel
Himalayas (Mount Everest) & Potala Palace in Tibet
Christ of Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Chitzen Itza in Mexico
Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransisco
Hollywood in Los Angeles, USA
Grand Canyon in Arizona, USA
Las Vegas in Nevada, USA
Taj Mahal in India
The Great Wall of China
Colosseum, Vatican, Rome - Italy
Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
Stonehenge, England
Leaning Tower of Pisa
Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, Turkey
Petra in Jordan
Victoria Falls in Zambia/Zimbabwe
Niagara Falls in Canada
Panama Canal
Hoover Dam, Arizona, USA
Brooklyn Bridge, Statue of Liberty in New York, USA
Lake Baikal, Russia
Angor Wat in Cambodia
Iguazu Falls in Brazil
Amazon Rainforest
Bora Bora
Venice in Italy
Hawaii in USA
Masai Mara in Kenya
Easter Islands
Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Paris - France
I have probably missed something but luckily it's my list and I can update it whenever something comes to my mind.
BUT what I will do now is get me a big world map that I will put on my wall and get a box of coloured needles that I will put to these places to remind me that my life is here to be lived.
Something tells me though that the first trip will be to Stonehenge because it takes least money - SOMEONE PLEASE FUND MY TRIPS!!!!!
My way to work
There was 2 men in the bus this morning that smelled like fish and a baby crying the whole way.... do I need to say more?
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